when you're sitting outside and staring into the nothing
Don't need any relationship right now. Nope. Whatsoever.
I just wanna be my old self again.
Stop crying so often and feeling awful. Stop remembering stuff from not so long ago and try to find the truth in words. There's no truth anymore. It doesn't matter. Whatever I'm looking for is not there.
I wanna be happy again. Enjoy every day of my life without all the thoughts I'm having now. And I'm having too much of those. Sometimes you need to stop thinking. I need to learn how to do that. ASAP.
I need to move out. For the first time I'm actually waiting for the summer to end, cause I'll definitely be out by then. Definitely.
And I've made a huge mistake thinking it was only friendly. It wasn't. I craved for more and I shouldn't. And I won't anymore.
I've decided that I wanna be over it. And I will be, cause I'm strong. I cry all the time, cause it's hard to be strong, but better this than miserable and alone and missing. Better cry it all out while I can.
But we're friends. Good ones. And I hope not to lose that. Cause I care. And he cares.
Let's just leave it at that.