suffering much
Never thought I'd miss talking to someone so much…
It's only been like four days, but I'm so used to talking to him all day everyday that I miss it. A lot.
a new low
Wow. Yes, great, Ann. Let's get so stressed you randomly cry and be hysterical. A fucking dream, right?
so dumb
So… My cat's got a ringworm. That's not nice. And nah, she's fine ans will be fine.
The stupid part is that I can get it as well, if my immune system is weak. And guess who fucking got sick a day ago? Me! Yay! Fucking hate myself right now.
Also, I hope Gloria is not too bored in the bathroom by herself. I can't even be with her, really.
feel broken
So, I'm back with my god-awful mood. Yup. It's sticking. I thought it'd go away, but it's here to stay.
I don't know if it's just autumn depression or something worse. Good things happen to me one after another and I don't feel them. Only realize them with my mind.
It's been almost two months and I still feel bad, the pills that usually tone down my anxiety didn't help and I don't know what to do.
Books help a little bit, but not for long, only while I'm reading and maybe right after…
I hope it passes soon. I can't go on like that. It's exhausting.
10th, 11th & 12th episodes of season 9
I hate and love Doctor Who. HOW DARES THIS SHOW DO THIS TO ME?
Crying. Just silently crying.

UPD: WHAT IS THIS? How can they make it even more emotional, wtf? No way. They reversed it… Damn.

UPD: And that Christmas special. Jesus. Precious.
hello, darkness, my old friend
I feel my post-birthday depression coming up. It's rather late this year.
It actually has nothing to do with my birthday, but hey! Whatever. Need to get rid of it. Fast. I have no time for depression.
for no reason whatsoever
I feel like I'm drowning. Hope it's temporary.
Why do I even have feelings?
fucking witch
You know how you have a habit of thinking that everything's okay and you feel better? Well, you need to lose it. Cause when you do think that, things usually go down the drain.
the exact description of this blog, lol
Everything sucks.
I'm so tired.

Oh, I'm fine, look at me, I'm cool, I'm strong, I'm moving on.

Ah, no, I'm not. Sorry, my mistake.
Hello, darkness, my old friend.
"super only friend" my ass
I think I know what's wrong with me. It's that feeling, the realization that… Well, I'm not a priority anymore. Simple as that.
all black zebra
So, how long does bad luck usually lasts? When do I get to jump to a next page?
am I that stupid?
Think about it, jeez!
Why do you keep tormenting yourself and cry your eyes out. I hope that's PMS, but you know it's not only that.
It's never gonna go away that way. Or heal.
It was so silly of you to think that the change of scenery and activities on itself is going to help. Nothing is gonna make you stop hurting except you.
So start acting like an adult. Make the right choices. Like you did once already. You did make a right one and you know it. So make some more.
And when you do - once you do! - stick to it.
I hate myself during PMS.

Madilyn Bailey – Scars (Papa Roach cover)

I've always cared too much. About everything. But this song in particular is connected to a hard period of my life (I think it was May of 2016.)
The period when I was trying to mend the heart of the man I loved. I was trying to help him get over a girl he kept loving even when he started dating me. And it was painful. And I wanted to end it. He was driving me crazy. And the fact that I couldn't help him made me feel so powerless and useless.
"I can't help you fix yourself,
But at least I can say I tried".
And I did try. Very hard. "I'm sorry, but I gotta move on with my own life". And I so desperately wanna move on. I'm trying really hard.
But I still care too much and it's very painful. Sometimes I just wanna be a cold-hearted bitch.