love life
obsessive thoughts suck
Gods, I'm so often worried and scared for no reason. I just think of the worst possible scenarios. Why do I do that to myself?
Grateful to Nikita for being patient with me and understanding: "call if you're worried and feel like you're spiraling".
Лежишь на диване, парень играет рядом в комп, и говоришь: "я пизда". И он, без заминки и не задумываясь, продолжает: "… тая".
just a nice change
I got used to sharing a bed again. For the first time in two years I feel comfortable sleeping with someone. That's a little bit weird, but also… nice.
Never thought I'd miss talking to someone so much…
It's only been like four days, but I'm so used to talking to him all day everyday that I miss it. A lot.
so very much failed
Apparently, my heart is not gonna consult with my brain.
Good job, Ann. Good fucking job.
I guess we're gonna see where this'll take me.
oh hell no
Not this again. Please. I don't need this.
I have no time. And, honestly, no desire.
"super only friend" my ass
I think I know what's wrong with me. It's that feeling, the realization that… Well, I'm not a priority anymore. Simple as that.
am I that stupid?
Think about it, jeez!
Why do you keep tormenting yourself and cry your eyes out. I hope that's PMS, but you know it's not only that.
It's never gonna go away that way. Or heal.
It was so silly of you to think that the change of scenery and activities on itself is going to help. Nothing is gonna make you stop hurting except you.
So start acting like an adult. Make the right choices. Like you did once already. You did make a right one and you know it. So make some more.
And when you do - once you do! - stick to it.

Madilyn Bailey – Scars (Papa Roach cover)

I've always cared too much. About everything. But this song in particular is connected to a hard period of my life (I think it was May of 2016.)
The period when I was trying to mend the heart of the man I loved. I was trying to help him get over a girl he kept loving even when he started dating me. And it was painful. And I wanted to end it. He was driving me crazy. And the fact that I couldn't help him made me feel so powerless and useless.
"I can't help you fix yourself,
But at least I can say I tried".
And I did try. Very hard. "I'm sorry, but I gotta move on with my own life". And I so desperately wanna move on. I'm trying really hard.
But I still care too much and it's very painful. Sometimes I just wanna be a cold-hearted bitch.

Please, let me go.
they say crazy is popular; well, fuck
This year (from last September to current one) was the craziest year of my life. It was the happiest and the most miserable of all. I'm grateful for it and I want it gone from my life.
This year was complicated. I loved it. And I hated it.
But I guess, no matter what I say or feel, I don't really regret having it. It taught me quite a lot.
I'm accepting it. And moving on.
simple as that
never wanted this Santa Barbara in my life
When you do your best, but still wanna cry at any moment of the day. And sometimes do, not even yourself knowing the clear reason.
And it's not like something extraordinary happened.
I guess I'm just… tired. And maybe lonely. But mostly morally exhausted.
I need some rest. And peace.
Wanna take a break from everything and just go to another city or even country. Forget about all my troubles for a week. Relax. Gain some strength.

Seas and forests of the world, come to me. Since I can't come to you.
мастер метафор
Я была его пластырем, а у него не хватило силы воли, чтобы не сдирать корочку.
wanna have my own story
You know this side character in the movie who's a main character's girlfriend, and she's nice and you kinda like her? But we all know she's not his true love and we root for two main characters to get together and live happily ever after? And they do, probably, and he breaks up with this side character. And we kinda feel bad and maybe wanna see her get her own happy end, but if we don't, it's fine, we don't care much. Know that?
Well, I am this side character.